My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I supernannyed him into submission
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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