Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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