We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
