Duck Duck Cougar?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
