Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
