Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
