Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
