He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
