is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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