Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
