I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
