I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
