singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
