2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
