4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
