his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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