dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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