its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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