You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
