We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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