yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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