If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
