I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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