dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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