I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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