You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
