I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
