Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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