So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
