xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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