the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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