I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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