I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
