do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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