you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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