Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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