Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
