A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
