My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
