4 words: hood of his car
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize