You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
