I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
