I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
