this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
