DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
