So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
