You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
