based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
