I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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