on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
