South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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