Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
