I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
