I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Please don't give away my fajitas
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
